Life Sucks

I just need to vent for a second.
Life sometimes just sucks. There's no other way I can describe it.

Everything in your day just piles up until you have a big heaping mess of suckiness.

I hate it when all of my friends have plans with their "cliques".
I'm not in a clique, I enjoy having a wide variety of friends, all from different social groups.
But this puts me at fault, you see, because... let me explain this visually:

If each clique is like a circle, all of the members of that clique are in the center of the circle.

But when a girl disperses themselves among many social groups, like me, she is never inside a specified "circle of trust". So instead, I end up like this. On the outside.

That means when groups are making social plans, I'm never included. Only when I invite myself am I gladly invited to join in on the fun.

So anyways, it sucks on nights like these, where I am sitting alone on my bed, full from eating away my emotions in peanut butter, looking through my Facebook news feed and Instagram feed, only to find that there are parties and hangouts going on at this very moment, that I'm not invited to. It's not that I was ever not invited, it's just that since I'm not tight with a certain group of people, I never get the invitational text. I am always welcome,  but I must invite myself. It's tiring after a while to always be that girl who has to invite herself wherever she goes.

It's damn exhausting.

But it hurts the most at times like these:

Texting:
Me: Hey what are you doing tonight?
Sort of friend: Nothing, just sleeping.
Me: Oh yeah that's cool, I should probably get a good night's sleep too.
Sort of friend: (never responds) 

4 hours later, I'm looking through my Instagram feed, only to find pictures of parties, laughter ensuing, and people socializing. All without me.

I mean I guess that's cool...

"But Emily, it's your fault. You need to ask these people more directly if they want to hang out"

True. But the thing is... that's not the point!

I don't want to constantly have to bombard people with texts weekend after weekend after weekend after weekend, only to be ignored or blown off. So I give up. Here's my white flag of surrender.

I mean, at least I know peanut butter with always be there for me. Just look at this picture of this extremely happy and giggly girl, clearly peanut butter is making her happy.

Sincerely,

Unhappy Emily